Post #2: I’m not the past. I am NOW!

We have all done something in our past, that we are not proud of.  We have been in situation’s we are not proud of.  Here’s the thing I have figured out, long-long after beating myself up for my past mistakes.  The key word is PAST.  Which mean’s over with.  Gone.  Behind you.  It took me very long time to get it into my head, that there is nothing humanly possible that I can do to change the past.  It’s over.  There is no rewind button, or erase memory button.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to think about the past mistakes, but think of them as lesson’s learned.  Think of way’s to avoid ever being in that position again.  Always try to strive to be a better person.  My past haunted me for almost a decade, and still creeps up in my mind, almost on a daily basis.  My past consists of situation’s that were out of my control, and also something that I let get out of control (alcohol was my “band-aid” of healing).  My past consists of so many unfortunate situations, but I have learned to move forward (baby steps), and try harder with myself on being stronger.  It’s more of the other’s abusive action’s toward’s me that I can’t get over really well, but then again it bother’s me all the time as to how much I drank to soothe my mind, while trying to ignore the mental, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse I was enduring for 12 years.  I have grown a lot since those days, I only fell off the wagon once in the past 9 years.  I have learned that the past will always be there, but you can’t live there.  How can you go through a present day, when all you think about was what had happened?  You can’t.  You live in the now.  Right this second.  Right at this moment.  What ever happened—- happened.  All you can do is put one foot in front of the other, and keep walking.  Only turn around if you have a lit match to throw and burn that damn bridge that is causing you not to proceed with your life.  You can’t climb that mountain with a rope around you pulling you back.  You can’t drive a car in neutral, so put it in drive and travel toward’s your new beginnings.  Only one life…..  Only one shot at it….  Make it worth it!!


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